30 Rock

If you watched 30 Rock last week, you witnessed Liz trying to change her single status by forcing herself to join every ridiculous and humiliating singles activity offered by her local YMCA. Whether it was line dancing or dodge ball, Liz forced herself to go because she figured that if she put herself out there enough, she’d find her Mr. Right. Meanwhile, Jack made no such extra effort and had his choice of not one, but two women.

Is this a simple tale of “the world is unfair for single women?” Perhaps. Nobody will doubt that single men seem to have a far easier time dating than single women. However, we mention this episode because there was a surprisingly good tidbit of advice from the show - so good that we thought any dating woman could benefit from it. As Jack was listening to Liz sound off about her dating woes, he simply said, "Lemon, I am successful romantically because I am confident, open and positive. You are negative, pessimistic, and in danger of becoming permanently sour."

This take-away is simple - You can go to every singles activity you can possibly fit into your day and take up your friends on every set-up they can muster, but if you don’t have the right attitude when you’re out there, you’re wasting your time. If you’re going to go out with a lousy attitude, you might as well be at home catching up on your DVR.

So for one, try to make eye contact with a few guys in the room. Eye contact is a subtle way to make a connection with somebody and gives guys a little sign that you notice them. Men aren’t fond of rejection, so a little eye contact or a smile can let them know you probably won’t shoot them down if they come over to chat. Also, be friendly. Speak up, say hello, initiate some conversation. "Putting yourself out there" doesn't mean just the physical act of going out; it means also being open to talking to people and seeing what they’re all about. You’re not being desperate, you’re just being friendly and getting to know people. If a guy doesn’t even have the civility to be receptive to your friendliness, well, then, he’s just an asshole. You can thank him for being so honest & not wasting your time.

Men aren't the smartest creatures, but you don't have to be uber-perceptive to pick up on that bitchy, all-men-in-the-universe-suck vibe that can rise to the surface after one too many epic fails at love. If you let that negativity define you, you will end up in a vicious cycle where your attitude alone will perpetuate your inability to find a decent man. Don't assume you know what each guy is about before he even opens his mouth. Squash the urge to judge a man in the first 5 minutes of meeting him. Give him a chance. It's called dating for a reason. Why not go on some dates and figure out if Mr. Suit and Tie is worth a long term investment?

Follow Jack's advice. Be "confident, open and positive." Putting on the right attitude is even more important than what clothes you put on when you go out looking for Mr. Right. So, while you're agonizing over what dress to wear, put some thought into your mindset, too. Even if the dress isn't exactly right, if your attitude is, you're bound to score a great guy in no time!